LamikayTy

I boarded a bus from Osodi to Jibowu on Saturday morning. I had barely stepped off when the bus zoomed off without warning and I realized all of a sudden that I was flat on my back looking straight up at the sky. I jumped up quickly (thank God I could) and as I stood I was shaking from head to toe. The back tyres of the bus barely escaped running me over and God had indeed made it possible that no other bus was escaping from the Police (as I discovered later) at the same time. I shudder to think what….

Travelling by Danfo is certainly not without risks! And for the comment in a previous post -The wisdom of the old, that Danfo’s hold a special place in my heart, I am sorry but I do not agree AT ALL.

Everyone around was very sympathetic, even the Local Govt. thugs came to say sorry and quite sympathetically excused the driver; the police were to blame. Thinking back I was reminded that Nigerians are a lovely, helpful and warm set of people, though I dread to think how many would have carried the sympathy further if I needed (God forbid!) to be rushed to a hospital.

Well, I got into another Danfo almost immediately after though this time with a lot of caution and care. I got down very slowly. It is my most common mode of transportation so I guess I can be an authority on the subject “Travel in Danfos”.

From a ‘hall’ of political discourse on the latest government policies especially on corruption to discussions about any ethnic group to a boxing ring and sadly too the foulest language in local patois. If you would like to know the best routes to a certain place in Lagos complete with the correct fare to such a destination, just ask the conductor and you’ll get more than enough answers from the passengers and the conductor or driver.

From the annoying stench of a sweat-filled shirt of the passenger sitting next to you, to the bountifully endowed woman who is almost crushing your bones in her futile attempt to make space for another passenger to those seemingly clever ones who never pay the correct fare and the equally smart conductors who are not afraid to fight over fares with women or ladies and even disown them of some easily extricable part of their attire especially foot wear. The Danfo is indeed a theatre hall with very many actors!

Most days I just sit down and enjoy the show. I have (I believe) learnt the art of arriving at my destinations as calmly and coolly as if I arrived in a fully-air conditioned vehicle. That’s actually a half-truth because something almost always happens to make me a typical Lagosian (Aggro and all). I have bruises on my legs and torn clothes thanks to the jagged edges of metal seats & bodies (many danfo’s are in dire need of a visit to the panel beater)

Finally, I think these tips below will help you as you board a Danfo:

1. Make sure the Danfo has stopped before you go in (even if this happens, they probably will zoom off before you sit down.)

2. Hold on to a seat as you enter to prevent you from falling (if the driver does not wait for you to sit) before you sit down.

3. Be careful and watch out for sharp objects so you do not injure yourself or tear your clothes.

4. Allow the danfo to stop before you disembark and look out for any pursuants (the police, agbero’s, FERMA men, LASTMA guys) especially if you are not dropped at an approved bus stop.

5. Relax in the bus! Its’ difficult a lot of the time but I can assure you that even with all the rough driving, you’ll get there!

6. Ascertain what the correct fare is before you go in. (If you can)

7. Enjoy the Ride!

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