Driving in Lagos requires extra skill….extra defensive and offensive skills!
My mum says that before a woman agrees to marry a man, she should go for a drive ‘in Lagos’ with him. If he can withstand the PRESSURE…he’ll definitely have passed a test. I couldnt agree more! I’ll just add, men should do likewise! 
Lagos driving brings out the ‘worst’ in you and as I’m now prone to saying, 2 things show you (yes YOU) who you really are: 1. Driving in Lagos and 2. Marriage. This post is about 1, I’m far from being an expert on 2.
I’ve become rather adept at ignoring ‘traficator’ signals from other cars and once I see those blinking lights, I zoom to cover up the space before the intruder can invade upon my ‘personal space’. Yet, I beg for space by putting on my ‘pointer’ and almost fighting my way in,unless i’m sure (don’t ask how I know) there is no risk of getting any scratches and woe betide you if you do not allow me to pass.
In traffic jams or (go-slow la ma n pe) I refuse to leave the allowance required in case of sudden stops and kiss the bumper of the car in front of me to prevent (especially danfos) from thinking this lady is a ‘mugu’ who doesn’t know her road rights. As roads narrow and 5 lanes are forced into 4, I am not polite, I push and prod and refuse to give up until I’m ahead.
Pedestrians and Okadas? This category especially the latter are another troublesome worry. From people who seem to believe that Cars do not maim and kill to those who decide that they’ve become cars and can compete with cars, my nerves are taut just thinking of navigating through some particular neigbourhoods in Lagos. Horns are not enough deterrent, our royal highness Okada(s) have the right of way.
The Okada drivers do not see and they do not care! Like bees they suddenly appear in front of the car. With their noise its hard not to miss them but sometimes they appear like ghosts.
All this tension on the road leaves one tired and worn out after driving especially in rush hour traffic. You have not been driving cooly but uttering one invective or another (I am reminded again and again about the bible verse, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh) as one more annoying thing happens.
I now understand why my sister and I used to exclaim repeatedly when being driven by my mum, “Mummy you promised not to abuse drivers again”
And if you have been thinking whether this writers husband did not take her on a test drive to check her suitability as a wife, I’ll say you are very right!! lol!
P.S: A lot of what I’ve written has been from both sides, not entirely all my own.
I am a careful driver o! which reminds me of a recent incident
On my way to work on the Island, I had gone in front of a driver (a large light complexioned man) in a brand new Toyota Corolla after several attempts on the Falomo bridge. I did not think much of it and I was happily on my way. Moving down Akin Adesola which was free, the same man (I did not realise it was him) passed right in front of me so fast and all of a sudden, he manouvered in front of me and braked suddenly twice before moving off. I was so so stunned and I had to brake suddenly (thank God the car behind me was some distance away) that when we stopped at Sanusi traffic lights (or police stops) I got down to talk to him. I mean, I had a baby on board and that was so so dangerous. “Good morning Sir, I said, that was very dangerous, what on earth did you do that for”, the very irresponsible man replied “I had right-of-way, I had right-of-way”. I couldnt believe my ears, you endangered my life and yours and risked getting your brand new car horribly bashed because you wanted to prove to me you had right-of-way? That I consider totally irresponsible behaviour!
31/12/2008 at 12:12 pm Permalink
Oluwatoooooooooooyin!
I’ll be back to comment properly.
02/01/2009 at 1:26 am Permalink
I understand what you mean! I live in Ibadan but spend my weekends and holidays in Lagos! For the new year service, I had to go to Ikoyi(Guiding light assembly), driving from Maryland to Ikoyi, passing the 3rd mainland bridge, see people driving anyhow!!!!!!!!!! With eyes half awake, half asleep, I had to tell myself over and over, Seye, you have to be ALERT, ATTENTIVE, SMART to drive in Lagos
02/01/2009 at 12:45 pm Permalink
Right of way, my foot! You’d see that owing/driving a new car is mutually exclusive of having road sense. All that glitters might be nonsense!!!
14/05/2009 at 4:02 pm Permalink
Had to come back and read this again, laughed my way through it. You should have gotten the mans plate number, maybe seeing his plate number on the internet will teach him a lesson or too and assure those who think he is an angel that he is almost the opposite!
17/11/2009 at 10:22 am Permalink
Hmmm, safe driving is imperative if not for them, at least, for ‘us’.
How come every commenter seem not to have seen this (which is obviously not an excuse tho’) “…I had gone in front of a …..brand new Toyota Corolla after several attempts…. I did not think much of it…..” but, only saw this “…he manouvered in front of me and braked suddenly twice before moving off.”? Just a thot.
Anyway, a perfect mantra to driving in Lagos according to FRSC, “…every road accident is someone’s fault, don’t let it be yours.” Ultimately, i think, even when we are right, we should just play the mugu and allow them. Afterall, ’tis not as if they will get to where they are going much ealier than us; rephrased, ’tis not as if we will get to where we are going much later.